Getting Lost in the Story

Ever since I was a child I have loved to read. I would get lost in a book for hours on end. Nancy Drew may have been my favorite then, but now my tastes range a much larger spectrum. One evening when the Mr was describing a part of who we are to a group of folks he stated that he likes to work on his intellectual side and I am driven by my soul. I thought this could not describe me any better. So as I share a few of my favorites that I go back to again and again you will see a pattern of books that feed my soul. Some in a practical way, others are words to get lost and then found in, and some are just light and fun although those I normally check out from the library. The ones that have potential for me to read over and over are bought and normally underlined or highlighted throughout.

books that are worth more than one read:

• The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Mari Kondo . I wrote more about how the book influenced me here, but was worth a mention again on my favorites list.

  • “To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.” pg 61

• The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Xander & Benjamin Zander. This book my husband recommended and I could not agree more. Perfect for any leader, communicator and or boss. It spurred me in ways that left me looking at how I perceive myself, how I can treat others better, and gave me a shift in my everyday perspective. It is one of the only none spiritual books I have listed, but it stirred my soul none the less.

  • “There is no such thing as bad weather,” he used to say, “only inappropriate clothing.” pg 64

• Free Fall to Fly by Rebekah Lyons. This book was recommended to me by Trina McNeilly who we will also get to in a second. It follows Rebekah’s life when anxiety and mental health hit her hard. It’s her fall through it and I could feel myself within her words. She gave me my “me too” moment and I will forever be grateful for this book in the season I needed it most. Her second book is just as powerful, You are Free.

  • “The roller coaster returned. Just as life was looking up, the floor was dropping out from beneath me. This relapse meant something was here to stay and my will alone would not be strong enough to change it.” pg 124

• Chasing Slow by Erin Lochner. This book put into words all the feelings I could not pull apart. I found my story tightly wound around hers as she spoke on days of blogging and what we now call influencers. I found the drive to be more intentional and the drive to step back. Her words make me want to stop and ponder.

  • “there is only today, with holes in our pockets, with time spilling out. We cannot keep it for tomorrow. We cannot mend our seams to hoard, save carry.” pg 146

• La La Lovely by Trina McNeilly. She may have been one of my first blog friends along the way. We both had a deep love for design, home and making life beautiful. I also believe at some point we all got lost along the way. She tells a story of her own that reminds me to look for the beauty even when it seems hidden.

  • “We grow out of so much in our teens and twenties. We are herded by peers, culture, and authorities. We are told to grow up, to “be this” and to not “do that.” We are eager and willing to leave our younger selves behind, and maybe of us do it in search or a more sophisticated version of ourselves. When we do reach the ends of our thirties, we are no longer trying to grow up or out but into who we were always meant to become. And it’s here we realize that, perhaps, we are not all there. We have left who we were behind.” pg 277-278

• Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. Let me start by saying that EVERY single book she has put out I have devoured and her last one was just the same. She writes in such a way that you feel as if you are hearing her story directly from her over coffee. You can easily imagine her life with her kids and husband as your own and I think that is what makes her books so powerful.

  • “This isn’t about working less or more, necessarily. This isn’t about homemade or takeout, or full time or part time, or the specific ways we choose to live out our days. It’s about rejecting the myth that every day is a new opportunity to prove our worth, and about the truth that our worth is inherent, given by God, not earned by our hustling.” pg 128

• Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. Ya’ll I’m about to be real honest. I almost didn’t read this book, because of the title. It wasn’t as poetic as I normal gravitate towards and seemed like maybe it was meant for the younger generation, but here I will tell you I was so very wrong. This book is for every woman in every stage of life. I have so many good one liners that it was hard to choose one, but I think this one says so much…

  • “Friends, it’s not about the goal or the dream you have. It’s about who you become on your to that goal.” pg 69

• Unashamed by Christine Caine. This book I could not help but read without hearing her Australian accent. It almost added to the need for me to really lean in and listen to what I was reading. This book is also tear stained. Christine has a back story that is hard, my back story if I focus too long can grieve me of moments lost. This book helped me look at it right in the face and set my grieving of a lost childhood into a space of healing and freedom to not hide my story but wear it as a success story.

  • “sometime shame can be out of sight and out of mind for days, or even years - only to sneak up from behind, knocking us off our feet.” pg 176

• A Simplified Life by Emily Ley. This book was recommended me to by a friend when I was sharing my new journey and she said this book sounded like all that I was feeling and still putting into words. She was right. I read it on a day and am about to read it again. It is a practical guide on how to achieve that so called simplified life.

  • “Have you ever noticed how much a (perceived) lack of outfit choices affects your attitude throughout the day? Many of us have closets bursting with options, but we still feel like we have “nothing to wear.” Our wardrobes are filled with clothes that don’t fit, look too worn, require lots of ironing, or aren’t trendy anymore. So we keep on buying and stuffing our closets and finding ourselves bummed at our choices. Who wants to sort through that every morning.” pg 28

• Becoming Mrs Lewis by Patti Callahan. I know I haven’t mentioned any so called fun reads, but this one fits into that category and I will still read it again. It’s a fictionally story, with plenty of truth intertwined, on how Joy became Mrs. C.S. Lewis. I found myself laughing out loud at times and had the hardest time putting it down. "

  • “A sense of calm so pervasive I didn’t recognize the stillness inside. It might pass - the need and fear might rise again as old and familiar comforts. But deep down, I knew the Truth now.” pg 325

Have any great books that I should put on my list this year? I love a good light read and those that speak to my soul.

Get Moving

I have come to realize something about myself, working out is not my thing. I do LOVE the idea of it. I dream of having a runners high and having great strength with arms to prove it. If you have been around this blog for any amount of time I am sure you have read my always well meaning goals of “this being my fitness year”, every single year. I don’t like to be cold, I don’t like to be too hot, I don’t like not breathing. Recently I had a minor procedure on a mole that came back with less favorable results. The Mr tagged along when I had to get my stitches removed from my shoulder and she mentioned that I may need to lay off working out my upper body for a bit in fear of the wound opening back up. The Mr couldn’t help but laugh and exclaimed the truth of it all, being that I am the least active person he knows. At first he got the side glance, but then I quickly knew he was just stating a fact and me wearing work out gear does not indeed mean that I do work out. He has lived by my side for the last 15 years and seen my attempts to work out and my abruptly stopping. Directly from that appointment we went to the store and I bought myself a apple watch. I bought it to get away from my phone more, but it quickly did more than that. I realized that computer work days left me with taking less than a thousand steps a day. On a day that I thought I was being pretty active I found to have barely 3,000 steps. Did you know for a healthy lifestyle an average person needs approximately 10,000 steps a day? The Mr gave me a told you so look, when I “discovered” what he already knew. I know for a fact that I have to move more if I expect my body to work in the near future. This in turn made me think about ways I can achieve said goal. This time I did not aim high by claiming to want to sign up for a 5k, I did not enroll in cross fit classes that I know my body can not handle for long, what I did do was make realistic intentions for myself. I am hoping by starting realistically it will lead to that addiction to move like so many have, but for now I will be sensible with my abilities and have step contests with my daughter.

My intention is to walk 3 days a week:

• I listen to a good podcast or two and walk a minimum of 30 minutes 3 days a week

• Too cold? I go to our local mall and walk with the folks that have me by a decade or two without shame

• Too hot? Haven’t gotten there yet, but assume my local mall walking will still apply

• Gorgeous day? I will take it outside and make it a family walk

• Want to catch up with a friend and I know they are decently active? Instead of meeting for coffee how about we walk and talk.

• Stairs have become my best friend

Do you enjoy working out? Born that way or self made? I really do need to know.

*dress by everlane

Budgets: we all have them

Money, I find it to be a taboo subject for some, but it is something that all folks need to be aware of at any level of income. My parents never discussed money in front of us as children. I only knew when we could and could not afford certain things. I worked since I was 14 and every paycheck was gone before the next arrived. When I went to college I got a credit card in order to keep up with fellow classmates, but never thought much of having to pay it back and found myself only worried about making minimum payments. I then got married right out of school and quickly became pregnant with a pregnancy that rocked my world leaving the Mr’s nominal paycheck at the time for everyday needs. We quickly figured out neither of us have ever worked with budgets and lived paycheck to paycheck. A few years into marriage we knew things had to change, I took the reins and read every book I could find and finally found Dave Ramsey as a method that could work for us. We had one car for a couple of years as maintaining two old clunkers wasn’t feasible. We each had a cash budget and our meals were less than special. During that time we never felt the need for more and fell into a steady pattern. It was a sweet time for us even during the exhaustion of having two babies and the rush of the beginning years of an ever expanding church plant that we were part of. Then in 2008 we knew it was time to make some residual income where we could. That’s when we fell in love with photography and blogging. Wedding photography and blogging soon began to match my husbands salary. We felt rich to say the least and was doing it all as a side business. Regrettably, we also began to spend that way too. We were young and full of energy. We bought a house we technically should have never purchased, finally purged all the hand me down furniture we owned, and I felt the need to buy more in order to have more blog content. We then went through a huge audit where we discovered photography was not a service, but considered a product. We owed tons in back sales tax. We were then working none stop just to make ends meet once again. We went back to the Dave Ramsey method and have stuck with it pretty much since. My husbands salary has gone up over the years and photography and blogging has become less of a need for survival and more an outlet of passion. We don’t make much with either any longer, but it does afford us a good vacation or two a year. Finically, we were making it happen but as we have gotten older we have new goals in mind. Like a retirement plan that we haven’t quite poured into like we should, home renovations that I know won’t be feasible once the kiddos start driving in the next few years, and let’s not get started on college. In order to make these goals happen we knew we needed to shift our finances again. To see where some extra money could open up to make our dreams into reality. Thankfully our time doing Dave Ramsey has set us into a pattern of living debt free minus our house and one car payment. We have spent time saving and our emergency fund hasn’t had to be dipped into in years. All last years freelance income was set aside for medical bills for little man and we forged any big vacation plans. We are in a good place to jump ahead and make things happen without too much financial stress, but still need to be wise on how to bring our goals into existence without going above and beyond what we bring home monthly.

A few practical steps we have taken to plan for our financial goals ~

• We do the Dave Ramsey method

  • we know where each dollar goes {I have used this budget planner for years now}

    • this means I took every bill that we pay and wrote it down. Yes, that includes the target card bills that normally don’t count. I also found myself surprised at the dollar amount that snuck in there the last few years in little ways.

    • We are presently reviewing what can be cut and where we can save. Asking ourselves questions such as can we cut our food budget down some? Can we do away with cable again? Do we really use that gym membership enough to justify the expenditure?

    • Our intention is to see if we can find enough money, by simply cutting back to help us get to our next planned saving goal

• I opened saving accounts for both our children

  • I put a certain amount away every month. Sometimes it’s larger, but the minimum is set. My hope is that it will alleviate some of the bigger expenditures we will have for them in the future.

  • I realized having a spending goal with their name on it helps remind me that planning for their future, and in turn ours, is an intentional one and not just me hoping there will be enough in our regular savings to cover it when that times come.

  • Ellie likes to add to hers with birthday and holiday cash gifts

  • Little Kellen has no idea his even exists, because I know he will want to spend it on nonsense and won’t quite understand the concept of this is for his future.

• For home renovation goals

  • I put together a “needs” list and “dream” list

    • Need - remove dead trees before they fall on the house

    • dream - give the kitchen a major face lift

  • I am putting numbers to the lists and see what is feasible or not. I then alter my expectations to see where it would fit comfortably in our budget. This also puts my patience to the test, as I know the timing of it all may not work out like I always hope.

  • I always see what I can do myself. Such as for the laundry closet I knew electrical and plumbing needed to be hired out, but we could handle the painting, woodwork and wallpapering.

I know most of you probably have your own finances well planned out, but those who don’t and those who are entering adulthood I encourage you to make a realistic financial plan that allows you to stay our of debt. Most importantly always to remember to include your dreams. At 23 we always had hopes of traveling well, eating well, and not live paycheck to paycheck. Fast forward, and now we can see our hard work and planning has opened the doors to such things even if they seem so simple now. We achieved our dream lifestyle by working hard and planning well even when we had to overcome setbacks. Today our dreams are a little larger in scale and we hope our past diligence will again pay off for the future.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” ~ Luke 14:28