I remember being in grade school and thinking 40 seemed like a lifetime away and those that already had arrived were ancient. Then fast forward to college and my twenties I felt like by the time I turn 40 I would then have all of life figured out. Now that I have reached this mark I have come to know that I am truly just beginning. Some things do come with age. I am more secure in who I am, but that little voice of doubt who I thought would be long gone still remains. I am just now a little bit better at telling it to go where the sun does not shine. Face lines grow deeper, but my laugh lines show years of joy. I find silver strands in my hair, yet the years of needing to have every hair perfectly aligned is not even a thought now. I am comfortable and that is a nice place to be after years of striving to be more. I am a mix of both my mother and father. American raised with Latinx roots. I am a child of God who has seen the unthinkable yet still has the greatest joy. I am a wife and a mother to a family I am still in awe of. Ellie has slowly been teaching me the piano which has been a life long dream that my dyslexic brain could never quite concur. I want to relearn spanish so I can talk to my papa with fluidity. I hope to continue to grow my business and still share here when it feels right. Most recently I started a newsletter that shares my monthly musings. It’s what I hope to be a fun happy to your inbox after months of heavy. You can subscribe here to see more. Thank you all for the years of being on this journey of life with me. You have truly made me better for it.
YES
This image, although odd, represents so much to me. This image is me taking a chance on myself. This image is me daring to dream bigger. This image is me saying yes, even though at times I feel not enough. This is me mailing paperwork to make my love of making homes beautiful a reality. This is me taking a step towards becoming an interiors business. I have continually debated if this is my so called calling. It has kept me anxious and second guessing for years. I did not get my hand writing in the sky, but I had some beautiful opportunities come my way that I simply said yes to. The more I said yes, the more I felt my place being mapped out. In hindsight I wonder if that is all God wants us to do? To say yes to the small little gifts He put inside us and take the journey with Him and watch it bloom. Over the last decade I have gone into design and have always found myself stepping back whether due to fear or the circumstances that surround. Every time I am in the midst of creating a home for others I feel like my best self. I come alive. I have had a decade plus of honing in on my process, my aesthetic, and learning what I love about the interiors business and what I don’t. This business will fit who I am and I hope in turn it will attract the similar. As the month progresses you will see a few changes here to my site, but Two Ellie will remain the same. The place where we share me-too moments, stay inspired, and the best place for me to ramble. Maybe this new journey of mine will flourish. Maybe it won’t. Either way I said yes and am going to see where it leads.
Have any areas in your life where you just need to say yes?
The Rythms of Life
2012
2019
Today not only marks the last day of January, but also my intention of getting back into the rhythm of life and this ole blog. I can feel the desire to write here reawakened and have my posting calendar marked out for the year. I will be posting every Wednesday, because who doesn’t love a good hump day escape? I have shed the guilt of self care and defined what that looks like for me. We tackled our budget and have set new goals. Our family calendar could not have been a better decision for our family. I even took time to tackle my closet again with the tried and true Mari Kondo method as I knew that space no longer sparked joy. My need to scroll and scroll again has been broken, I have allowed myself to dream again, and have filled my head with so many inspiring reads all while intentionally moving my body in a way that works for me. This month has been dedicated to ordering my steps in a new way with hopes of not loosing myself in the shuffle of daily life. These are the days I don’t want to miss. My days are fleeting with my loves. I am sure over the next year I will have mis-steps, because life happens in big ways, but I hope the habits I am developing will be easy to come by once again. Thank you for going on this journey with me and I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for us all!
xx, Paula
