All Too Real

The struggle is sometimes all too real. Sometimes that struggle can be deemed as ridiculous and wonder how it developed at all. Then there are times I open the word of God and the answer glares back with all the wisdom that I ever needed. For me my struggle is social media. Every time I lose countless seconds, minutes, and sometimes even hours feeding on what’s next I ask myself if it was worth missing out on what is actually right in front me. The answer is always no, yet I still find myself mindlessly scrolling, hitting refresh, and then repeat. Does looking at social media actually fall in a negative category, that I do not know for certain and I highly assume it does not. I am also certain this is not everyone’s struggle, but what I am sure of is that everyone does have a inner struggle of their own. For me the socials can cause turmoil inside that leads me to wanting more, needing more, to overall discontentment even on the best of days. It turns my eyes from being grateful for all that I have and shifts my focus on what I don’t. Don’t get me wrong, socials can be a beautiful way to connect, to be inspired, to run a business. I love seeing big wins, beautiful spaces, and when prayer warriors need to rally. This year I want to shift my mindless scrolling to being more intentional. To still enjoy the socials yet not let it consume me. In order to do this though I have learned words are not enough and I have to become more studied on how to make it work for me and more importantly take actual action to make it a reality. Some steps that I have taken thus far is putting a time limit on my social media apps via my phone. Once 15 minutes pass I receive a message that tells me my time is up and it gives me an option to add 15 more. Something about actually seeing the time pass makes me pause and really think about whether I am being mindless while scrolling or really enjoying a quick catch up without sinking into a place of want or need. Another addition I have made is I bought myself an apple watch. This way I can still receive texts and phone calls yet not have to have my phone in direct reach. Out of sight of of mind is huge for me. One scenario is I can keep my phone in my purse while out with a friend and if the kids happen to need me, like really need me, I can still be alerted. Another scenario is that when the kids get home from school I can intentionally put my phone away, but if someone texts or calls me I can still see it and then determine if the timing is good for a reply or can it wait. Lastly, I am going to move back to mostly desktop posting. I purchased Tailwind last year, but only used it sporadically. This year I am hoping to put it to good use, intentional use. Even while typing all this out, it sounds silly to me. It borders on embarrassing really. How can a phone dictate the way I live so greatly? How can I not have enough self control? How did I become tethered to a phone? What I do know is that I have tried using my own might in the past and yet it never quite works so the action had to follow. For Christmas both kiddos got phones and I know the only way I can teach them responsibility is to lead by example. I know that I have continually taken a bite of that apple in the form of refresh to see more, gain more, and in the end leaves me in a place that leaves me feeling like less than. The last thing I want to do is to teach my kids that the apple is sweet and they too need a bite.

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. - Genesis 3: 6-7

xo - Paula

Photo by Todd Helzer for Morgan Ashley Salon 2017

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