Life is airing on the hard side the last couple of months. I am in the midst of a flair up do to who knows what currently. I have been back on a strict diet since our trip to Guatemala, minus an anniversary day away last month, yet I have not been able to climb back out from this deteriorating body of mine. My lymph nodes are painfully swollen, it's hard to breath, and my body is aching with inflammation. I can't think clearly and I am currently just floating from one task to another. I have walked this heavy path before and I know I will be able to breath deep again, take walks as a family, and just not feel so very much all the time. This body of mine hates me. I share this piece of me not for a woe is me moment, but I share because I know there are others who have and are and will walk a similar path and I am here to say, me too. Your path may look different than mine, but the path can all lead to the same lonely place. No one wants to be the friend who complains all the time. No one wants to plan their day around what must get done and then divide it to a point where you think you can handle it, but most of the time can't and those tears will then flow. No one wants to be that person. I and others have prayed for my healing for years now and at times I wonder why it has not fully happened, but then I meet someone who walks a similar path and I can cry along with them and truly know the depth of their pain. That is a gift. To know you are not alone during a season of life that at times can make getting out of bed even hard can act as an offering. Here I am giving me to you saying we can do this. Whatever season you are in that may leave you with a lose of words I can confidently say He hears us even when it may not be evident in the ways we desire. I can confidently say that there is a new day everyday and one of those days the pain will lift and we will all be set free from whatever this is. I can confidently say there is hope amongst us. How do I know this? Simply because He spoke life even before I was born so instead of deeming this a season of suffering I shall name it a season of hope. A hope for a new day that includes taking a deep breath without pain. I earnestly ask you to not only focus on what you want to happen, but also take the time to focus on where you are at this very moment and find the hope within it. It makes those days doable even if the tears do accompany it.
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. - Romans 5: 2-5
SOURCES: duvet {similar} | sheets {our colorway discontinued} | cement ring dish {similar} | end table | roman shades | lamp {even better} | A few of the books I am trying to read yet the brain fog makes it next to impossible. These have been a few that have been sticking... here, here, and here.
