WORDS

Ever read words that strike so deep that they can leave a lump in your throat? Like you want to swallow them up, but almost fear having them live inside you as a reminder? I read those words on an instagram post by Trina. She was relaying the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, "Any talent that we have but do not use becomes a burden." I read them over and over. The words themselves are rather simple, but they managed to get stuck in my throat and I had to swallow hard for this was what the last six months of me not blogging felt like. A day did not go by when I did not think about this blog. You all who gifted me such a treasure in the form of actually reading it. You all have watched me grow up in a way. I started as a young mother of two who was trying hard to find her place in this world to a woman who still does not have all the answers, but is finally okay with everyone knowing so. The need for perfection has vanished and the desire of wanting to be real overcame. The more time that passed without a blog post caused a greater fear that if I did come back would anyone still read this blog? Would the hours sitting at the computer be a misuse of time? Would my life begin to be lived with a blog post in mind again? The latter may have been my biggest fear. In this new world images are more important than words and this new blog is based on words. I can tell you now though, now that I have sat back down at my computer that the burden is lifted and I feel like I am where I was I always meant to be. Even if only a hand full of you read my words I at least said them and they no longer just live in my head on repeat. That is what I call a victory. As for those who love a pretty picture I suppose being a photographer has its benefits too. I do love a good story told through images. Best of both worlds for this little ole blog maybe? Time will tell.

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them... - Romans 12:6

Source:  Roman Shades in Oak. PS they are always randomly on sale.

Rent

When we moved into this rental owned by a dear friend I did not know what to expect. We moved unexpectedly and although not far it was a shift in life. A new town, a new school, new neighbors, and new friends kept me on my toes. The toes of a ballerina whose shoes look beautiful on the outside, but wrapped and scared on the in. The older I have become the more unsettled I feel with change. The not knowing, the feeling of falling enveloped me. What I did not know at the time was that a year later that was exactly what I needed. I needed to have only my family to hold on to, I needed to be removed from my comfort zone, I needed to find me again. My daily prayers became screams of needing God more and that is exactly what I got while going through a long hard year. Five months of this year I was more in bed than out of it. I counted and it was an eye opening realization. Between sickness, my burns, and pure exhaustion I succumb to rest. It was what I needed. I did not realize I was running on empty so much so I did not know what anything but that could feel like anymore. Everything overwhelmed me. I stopped hearing Him clearly and once forced to stop it was all I could do but stop and listen. To worship in the quiet, to read the word in the quiet, to reach out in the quiet. I would love to say I'm finally in a good place, but I won't. I'm not sure I want to be. I have grown to desire that place where I realize I can't do anything well on my own and need God to renew me daily. This renewing let's me breath again.

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31

source: rug overstock | bistro table sold in stores | pillows pottery barn last year {similar, similar} | lantern {it also lived here} | ceiling color sea salt by Sherwin Williams

Dog Days

Are you all pet people? I grew up with having many. My parents were ones that always let any stray stay and me and my sisters took full advantage. This pup we have had for 5 or 6 years now. He was in need of a home and my parents asked if we could hold on to him for a little while. Well if you could have seen the kiddos faces you would have instantly known that he was destined to be our dog for they would not give him back without a heartbreaking fight. I think the Mr, who is not a pet person in any way, still regrets that decision to this very day. The Mr is a good man and will forever put the kiddos first hence our short lived life with dwarf hamsters that got out of the cage to never be seen again. Oh the heartbreak. Our pup has lived on though and is 7 now and his eye sight is hit and miss. He has learned recently that he can jump on furniture which is something that drives us all a little insane. Yes it took him seven years to learn how to propel himself with his short little legs.  He learned this new trick at night and he still hasn't quite got it fully down and it takes multiple tries. Loud tries. Can I tell you how disturbing that can be in the middle of the night when you are startled awake by loud thumping and things falling over? Heart stopping, breath holding, type of fear can envelope me so quickly and so quietly in those late hours. Our pup is now a proud owner of a new doggy kennel due to his new found high jumping skills. This pup of ours loves the kiddos dearly. He is protective and loving. He shouldn't be though. He is a pekingese and we were warned that he may not be meant for families with small children, but he needed a home and I believe he wanted a home too. He eventually outgrew his skittishness and occasional nips here and there. He now trots around like he is their big brother. He endures being dressed up and rough housing with KJ. He let's Ellie carry him around like a baby doll without even a fight. My kiddos truly adopted the sense that he is theirs and I truly think our pup thinks they are his. This will probably be our only stint with us being dog caretakers and I am grateful he is it even if he can send my allergies into orbit and drive us all up the wall his barking and scratching.

* I found this kennel at Target while strolling through one day. I like the way it blends into our decor more than the metal wire ones and its collapsible so if need be I can hide it away.  The best part is that he actually loves it. He has always been a fan of hiding places and thankfully this one is up to his standards. This one is a medium, but I could not find it online. Here it is in large though for reference. The insert is a doggie bed found at Home Goods awhile back.